


Untranslatable

by comebaekhome



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-10 20:40:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11134320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebaekhome/pseuds/comebaekhome
Summary: Their love was a lot of things.It was spending long nights in the forest together, limbs in a tangled mess while they pointed the stars out to each other.It was learning of the other's imperfections, coming to love them.It was consoling each other through hard times.It was loving each other so much that finding a way to interpret it into words was difficult.But they loved each other a lot.They loved each other differently than other couples did.And maybe others would never understand it.Their love was untranslatable.And it was all they've ever needed.





	Untranslatable

**Author's Note:**

> birthday gift to my [bae](http://archiveofourown.org/users/djjdkim) from a few years back

_Waldeinsamkeit._  

Jongdae's home was relatively large. His family had always been well off, and it showed  with the amount of land they owned. Despite how large everything was however, the only  _real_  joy he found in the large space was a small patch of forest located directly behind their house.

Although not technically part of his home, the forest had always provided him with a sense of peace, giving him solitude when he needed it most. 

He wasn't sure what it was about the forest that lifted his spirits the second he entered it.

It gave him freedom, happiness,  _escape_.

While others had music, writing, or art to escape reality, Jongdae had his forest. 

He'd stay in it for long periods of time, from studying the bright sunlight provided at noon, to memorizing the softer glow in the evening, to trying to hold onto the darkness that comes at night. 

 

_Komorebi._

The sun had only recently began to set, as the bright blue of the sky slowly faded into the warm glow of bright yellows that shifted into soft oranges. 

This was one of his favourite parts of the day.

This was when the final chirps of the birds could be heard, before they laid to slumber.

There would always be a slightly stronger breeze around that time as well, just enough to make the ridiculously hot summer somewhat bearable. 

When the evening light painted the leaves so all that could be seen on the earthy forest floor were the faint streaks of sunlight that wormed their way through.

 

 _Mångata_.

Jongdae's favourite time of day, however, was nighttime. 

He absolutely adored the way the moonlight would reflect off the water of the nearby lake, it's glow reflecting off the surface of the water, layering shifty lines over the waves. He would often spend nights on the shore of the lake, head rested on his backpackas he drifted off to sleep. On some nights, Jongdae would build a small fire and admire the way the flames would lap up the cool night air, sending hot sparks flying every so often. 

Other nights, he'd chase around the fireflies that were always sure to be around the water. He would hold them in his hands to see how their glow escaped the spaces between his fingers or put them in a jar he brought with him from his home to guide him through the darkness. 

Jongdae always found himself outside more than most of the people he knew. Most would give him strange looks as he went on about his forest, about every wonder it had to offer; most, but not all. 

"Can I come with you one day?" Minseok had asked him once, as Jongdae retold a story from the patch of woodland. He gave the elder a disbelieving look as Minseok waited for an answer. Never before had he heard someone ask him this question. 

"Are you  _sure_  you wanna come?"

"Why wouldn't I? It sounds fun."

Jongdae gave him a wide smile at that. 

"I'll be over tomorrow, okay?" 

 

_Iktsuarpok._

"Jongdae, sit down already. I have a report due tomorrow." his older brother complained as the sound of the younger's incessant footsteps echoed around the house.

"I can't." he muttered, peering out the window. "This is the first time anybody's ever come with me."

"Fine, don't sit down. Stop your pacing, at least."

"But what if he doesn't like it?" the boy asked, disregarding the elder's words.

"You're overreacting. You're taking him to a  _forest_ , Jongdae."

"The forest that means  _everything_  to me."

"You'll be fine."

"You don't know that."

Jongdae sighed as he peered out of the window again, waiting for the boy's figure to appear. 

 

_Kilig._

"Sorry I'm late! I got held up at soccer practise!" Minseok almost shouted as he ran towards the house, large bag slung haphazardly over his shoulder, sliding with every step.

Even from a distance, it was evident that he was short of breath. His face was flushed a bright red and his hair was matted to his forehead, the boy's shirt on him inside out. 

Jongdae chuckled as Minseok doubled over at his doorstep. The boy let the elder in, Minseok still muttering quiet apologies as Jongdae offered him a bottle of water. 

They left for the forest a few moments later, after Minseok had caught his breath.

 

 _Forelsket_.

Although the sun was slowly making it's way down the horizon, the forest was still bright as ever. There was a light breeze present, making music with the leaves as they rustled gently. Jongdae found himself checking on the elder every so often, just to see if Minseok saw the beauty of the forest like Jongdae did.

On several occasions, Jongdae found himself staring a bit  _too_  long, but he found it difficult to look away when the warm light caressed Minseok's soft features so _perfectly._  Minseok's eyes seemed to sparkle with every step, although Jongdae wasn't sure whether it was out of awe or it was merely a reflection of the sunlight. At that point though, Jongdae had stopped caring. 

"It really is beautiful here." Minseok said, breaking their silence.

"You should wait until nighttime." Jongdae said, "There's nothing quite like lying by the lake in the moonlight, lulled to sleep by the calm waves."

Minseok only smiled brightly as they continued their walk. 

 

_Samar._

Night soon fell upon them, the once b right forest now shrouded in darkness. The two laid themselves onto the ground, heads propped up against their backpacks, watching as the moon became progressively brighter. Jongdae could hear a soft sigh escape the elder's lips.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"It's just- it's not often that I get to come to places like this." Minseok let out a long exhale. "It's nice."

Jongdae smiled, redirecting his gaze to the moon. "I'm happy to know you like it here. This place means a lot to me."

Minseok turned his head to see Jongdae. "Really?"

"Yeah. I grew up with this forest. It's my escape from the world. If I ever need time to think, or time alone, this is always the first place I go. It's become a second home to me."

"I wish I had something like that." Minseok said, laughing wistfully, _long_ _ingly._ "I've spent most of my life in the same house. I've never been anywhere like this. The neighbourhood is relatively large. Any forest that used to be nearby has been destroyed to make room for new homes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm sure that if they  _had_  kept any forest, it would have been overrun with kids. Either that, or it would've been off limits by angry parents who don't want their kids engaging in such 'dangerous activity'. Having this asylum so close but not being able to use it would be worse than not having it at all."

"I guess that's true. But did you have _any_  place you used for escape?"

"Well, unless you count the soccer field, no. Not really." 

"It varies for everyone, I guess." Jongdae sighed, turning his head to check on the elder. "Are you cold?" he asked when he saw Minseok with his arms crossed, hands running up and down the sides of his biceps in an attempt to generate heat. Jongdae sat up, turning to his backpack to fish a blanket out.

"You really come prepared." Minseok noted as Jongdae laid the blanket on top of him.

"When you spend a lot of time out here, you come to realize what you need to bring."

"Aren't you cold?"

"A  bit, but the blanket isn't big enough for the both of us."

"I'm sure we can both fit." Minseok insisted.

"I don't know-"

"Come on, get in." he said, lifting the corner of the blanket for Jongdae. "Come on now, I'm getting cold." he added after a few moments. Jongdae sighed as he relented, slipping under the blanket and into the warmth the elder had to offer.

He barely noticed as the sun began to rise again, still left talking to Minseok. 

 

 _Jayus_. 

The two soon found themselves meeting in the forest weekly, opting to spend the summer with each other in their- now shared- place of escape. As the weather began to cool, and as school started once more, their weekly outings to the forest became weekly outings elsewhere. That day in particular, though, Jongdae was brought to the library with Minseok, who was studying for a science test.

"Hey. Hey Minseok." he whispered, the elder's gaze set on the textbook before him.

"What is it?" Minseok asked impatiently after being distracted by the younger for the nth time that day.

"What do you do with dead chemists?"

"What?" he asked monotonously. 

This was not going to end well for him.

"You _barium_."

Minseok cupped his face with his hands, exhaling slowly. 

"Not your thing? Yeah, I'll be honest, I'm not very into chemistry jokes either. I only tell them  _periodically._ "

Minseok raised his head in exasperation, but it was still clear that he was trying to hide his amusement.

"Okay, I admit my jokes are pretty bad, but I can't help it if all the good ones  _argon_."

Minseok's lips perked up.

"At least you can trust me. Not like atoms. They make up everything."

Minseok couldn't stop the laughter escaping his lips, causing Jongdae to grin in return.

"You're so lame." Minseok said between chuckles, lightly hitting Jongdae on the arm.

 

_Sobremesa._

Their meetups soon became more casual, the pair often going out for meals together. The trips were often impromptu, leading them around the city with every trip they made. 

Although they often tried to go for different kinds of food, Jongdae often found himself in Minseok's favourite steamed bun store. Jongdae never really minded. Not when it was with Minseok. He'd eat steamed buns with the elder until he died if it meant that he could see the way his eyes lit up so adorably every time. Seeing Minseok's face light up was only half the joy in these trips. The other half came from the end of the meal. They always found themselves seated at the table near the window, talking what remained of the day away. 

Sometimes, the conversation was p ointless and meaningless.

 _"You don't even see it a_ little _bit?"_

_"No."_

_"Come on, you guys look so similar!"_

_"Are you trying to imply something?"_

_"Come on! Don't tell me you don't see even the_ slightest  _resemblance!"_

_"I don't!"_

_"Say whatever you want, I'm still convinced that you're secretly related to Sohee."_

Sometimes (though not often) their conversation would dig a l ittle deeper, and Jongdae would find himself learning new things about the elder.

_"So, what do you wanna do when you grow up?"_

_Minseok prodded at his kimchi with his chopsticks. "I don't think I ever want to grow up."_ _he muttered absentmindedly._

_Jongdae chuckled. "I don't think anyone does." he sighed. "But I guess we can't help it."_

_"Well, what do_  you  _want to do?"_

_"What I want to do is stupid."_

_"Come on, I'm pretty sure we're past that point."_

_Jongdae smiled. "I've always wanted to be a singer."_

_"That's not stupid."_

_"I'm probably not going do it though."_

_"Why? You're great at singing."_

_Jongdae shook his head. "Enough about me, what do_ you _want to do?"_

_"Well, I've always wanted to open my own coffee shop."_

_"You're into coffee?"_

_Minseok nodded, a grin spreading across his face. "Do you think I could do it?"_

_"Of course."_

 

_Mamihlapinatapai._

Jongdae wasn't quite sure when his relationship with Minseok progressed past friends. 

Between shy looks exchanged across the library table and quiet nights spent on the shore of the lake, pointing constellations out to each other, all the pieces just fell in place.

Jongdae had to thank whatever gods were out there that they didn't have to experience the confession-to-first-date awkwardness. He's happy that no one had to confess.

They both just kinda  _knew._

 _Soulmates_ , he's been told,  _You two are like soulmates._

Unspoken connections and loving gazes were what occupied their time together.

Where they used to walk side by side with their hands brushing frustratingly with every step they took, they could now hold hands, enjoying the prescence of the other next to him. 

It was the happiest Jongdae's ever been since he's discovered the forest. 

 

_Wabi-Sabi._

As all relationships are, things are not always happy. Some relationships are plagued with anger, with resentment. Others with harsh words and arguments that would go on continuously.

For Jongdae and Minseok, the only thing they had to blame were their demons. 

The unseen killer that preys on insecurities until the person is broken on the inside. Leaving scars in places that could never be seen. For Minseok, these demons preyed on his perception of himself.The person that Jongdae found so perfect saw himself as anything but. He constantly worried over his weight, despite his already thin stature. Even as they grew out of their adolescence, became adults and got their first apartment together, the demons stuck. 

It hurt Jongdae.

But they overcame it. 

The nights that used to be spent in the forest became nights spent next to each other on their bed, limbs tangled together. Jongdae would always hold Minseok close, reassuring him, telling him every little imperfection that Jongdae found beautiful. 

They would always end with Minseok smiling through his tears, nuzzling his face a little deeper into Jongdae's shoulder. 

 

_Gezellig._

Minseok.

He was all that filled Jongdae's mind nowadays. 

Minseok.

The very name brought a smile to his lips and a flutter to his heart.

Minseok.

The light of his life.

The happiness that he felt with the elder was immeasurable. He always looked forward to lazy Sunday mornings the most.

That was when he could wake up to the elder in his arms, peppering kisses on the nape of his neck. Minseok would always get out of bed before Jongdae, and he would always start the day by brewing coffee for the both of them. The rest of the day would be spent wandering. Sometimes they would go to the nearby park. Other times they would spend the day shopping, be it for clothes or groceries. 

It never really mattered where they went. 

As long as they had each other, they were happy. 

 

_Hiraeth._

They say all good things come to an end.

He could feel his heart sink when he saw the sight. 

He had decided to visit his parents after a while of living apart. Hoping to spend some time back in the forest where he had spent the better part of a decade, he had left the house as the sun set with his backpack secure on his shoulders.

Except, there was no forest.

Where the expanse of trees once stood, there was now flat plains, the only memory of the trees that once stood being what was left over, the stumps that couldn't be uprooted without proper equipment.

He wanted to look away, he wanted to cry, he wanted to leave with the lasting memory of the forest he so loved, but he couldn't stop himself from wandering.

The lake still remained in the same place, yet it's once beautiful clear waters had turned murky and dark from careless workers. The shore was littered with cigarette butts and wrappers.

His head spun as he looked around what used to be his forest.

He buried his head in his hands as he silently wept for everything that was destroyed for corporate greed. 

 

_Naz._

He kept quiet for the next few days to come, ignoring the concerned looks his family gave him after seeing his red rimmed eyes. He cut his week long stay short and quickly returned to his apartment, trying to distance himself as much as he could.

Minseok knew something was wrong. He always did. 

The elder held Jongdae tightly as he told him the news quietly. Minseok consoled the younger, placing gentle kisses on his cheek.

"It's okay." he'd whisper quietly. "Come on, you're okay." he'd repeated as he rubbed soothing circles on Jongdae's back. 

The night was spent in each other's arms, where Jongdae cried into Minseok's arms for a change. As the hours ticked by, Minseok fell asleep first, leaving Jongdae alone with his thoughts. Jongdae turned on his side to get a glance of the sleeping boy.

He cupped Minseok's face in his hand, the boy nuzzling into the touch. His lips perked up as he traced his features with his thumb before giving him a peck on the nose. 

Jongdae felt his heart flutter as he fell in love with the elder again. 

Maybe he'd never get his forest back.

But he'd always have Minseok.

 

_Vendriti._

It's the next morning that Minseok decides to bring Jongdae out, to give the younger a chance to get some fresh air, a chance to forget about the remains of his forest.

It was clear that Jongdae wasn't really up for leaving their apartment, but he did so anyways for Minseok's sake.

The elder frowned as they walked down the streets, hand in hand, his sights set on the rapidly greying sky. 

Jongdae had to suppress a soft chuckle at the adorable sound Minseok let out as the first drops of rain hit the ground. Jongdae only smiled, pulling Minseok by his hand to the awning of a nearby coffee shop.

"Sorry." the elder began meekly. "The forecast said there wouldn't be rain today. If I had known, we could've just stayed home and-"

"Minseok, it's fine." Jongdae said, smiling comfortingly. "We can just wait out the rain." he said, the rain growing heavier with every moment that passed. 

"I just wanted to get your mind off things."

"I know."

"Maybe we should've just stayed home. This was all pointless."

Jongdae frowned. "What are you saying? Minseok, nothing is every pointless- not when I have you with me. I'd take you over a forest anyday. You mean more to me than that forest ever could."

"Jongdae..." 

"Come on. Let's go get some coffee while we wait."

 

_Tretår._

The cafe was already quite crowded by the time they entered, the small shop radiating a cozy feeling from the moment they stepped into the store. It was nicely decorated, the brick walls giving a cozier feeling to the cafe, books lining the walls by the counter. There were fairy lights strung around the perimeter of the room, covering the walls and the ceiling, almost giving the illusion of the night sky floating above them. There was a strong scent of freshly ground coffee beans in the air, the smell strong and laced with the softer scent of baked goods. The room was spacious, numerous patrons already seated in the establishment, smiles on all of their faces as they conversed with the waiters. Minseok tapped Jongdae on the arm, pointing out an empty spot by the window, a friendly waitress taking notice of them and clearing the way for them. 

Jongdae smiled as Minseok's eyes searched the cafe, a smile growing on his face as he took a seat. 

"It's really nice here." he breathed, the waitress chuckling softly as she set the menus on the table. 

"The owner is really passionate about this cafe. He'd be happy to hear that you like it." she said, taking out her notepad. "Is there anything I can get you?" 

"A cappuccino, please." Minseok replied, without skipping a beat. Jongdae only smiled and ordered the same.

"You seem excited." Jongdae mused.

"This place is amazing." 

"You like coffee a lot more than I thought you did."

"No... It's not that." Minseok said, smiling sheepishly, the waitress returning with their drinks. Minseok's smile grew as he took a sip. "This is what I always wanted."

Jongdae cocked his head in confusion.

"It's just- this place is perfect. I've always wanted to go into coffee, and this is the perfect place. There's just something about it here. That feeling you get when you first walk in, when you take your first sip. This is everything I've ever wanted in a cafe."

The two end up staying for hours after the storm had finished, clearing refill after refill. 

"You know, there are job spots open." the waitress commented after their nth refill of coffee, a knowing smile spread across her face. "We'd love to have someone as passionate as you on the team." 

Minseok's eyes shone, and, in that moment, all of Jongdae's problems dissipated. 

 

_Gökotta._

Over time, Jongdae eventually came to terms with losing his forest, but old habits died hard.

Minseok stretched his arms out, searching for Jongdae in his sleep induced hazy mind. He furrowed his brows in confusion when his hands brushed over the cold sheets, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he found Jongdae's side of the bed empty. Minseok sighed as he stretched his tired limbs, shuffling out of their apartment, hands shoved in the pockets of his oversized sweater. 

He smiled as he caught sight of Jongdae's hunched figure as he opened the door to the roof, the younger's head tilted back comfortably as the birds overhead sang happily. The closer he approached, the louder Jongdae's soft hums became. 

"You're up early." Minseok commented offhandedly, taking a seat next to Jongdae. The younger looked over, giving Minseok a small smile. "You used to despise waking up early."

"I just wanted to hear the birds sing again." Jongdae responded wistfully. Minseok leaned his head onto Jongdae's shoulder as the younger hummed along with the bird's songs, lulling Minseok back to sleep. 

Jongdae smiled as he saw the elder dozing off, wrapping an arm around his small frame, pulling Minseok's pliant body closer to his own, feeling Minseok's head nuzzle a bit closer into Jongdae's shoulder.

 

_Shouganai._

With every passing day, Jongdae finds new reasons to fall for Minseok. 

He falls for the way the elder would nuzzle into his side whenever Jongdae wrapped an arm around his frame. 

He falls for the soft hums that would escape the elder's mouth whenever he was occupied, for the way his face turned pink whenever Jongdae would compliment his voice. 

He falls for every last piece of Minseok.

"Oh my god, Jongdae, we've been here for _hours_." Chanyeol whined. "I'm hungry! There are only so many chips I can eat in one sitting!"

"We can go eat when we're done."

"But Joooongdaaaaeeee!"

"This needs to be perfect, Chanyeol! There's still so much I haven't figured out yet! Give your dear old hyung a hand, now will you?"

"Joooongdaaeee! You'll be fine! You can literally ask him anywhere and he'd say yes! You could ask on the goddamn  _toilet_  and he'd still be okay!"

"That's not the point though!" Jongdae whined back. "It needs to be special! What if something goes wrong? What if-"

"Calm down dude! You'll be fine!"

"But what if-"

"Look," Chanyeol began, putting a hand on Jongdae's half open mouth. "Whatever happens, happens. There's no changing that. Freaking out won't solve anything. So just calm down, alright?" he asked softly, removing his hand from the elder's mouth.

"Wow Chanyeol... Thanks for that. I never knew you-"

Chanyeol shot out of his chair, ushering Jongdae out of his own. "Great, cool, we can talk about this on our way to lunch."

 

_Fremdscham._

It was the day of their anniversary that Jongdae worked up the courage. 

He had spent the entire time checking and rechecking that everything was in place, still feeling nervous by the time he invited Minseok out with him that night. 

Jongdae wandered around aimlessly as he waited for Minseok to finish his shift at the cafe. He had a small bouquet of flowers tucked under his arm as he stared down at the ring inside of the velvet box, fiddling with it nervously. 

"It's okay Jongdae, you can do it." he muttered to himself. "What could go wrong? You'll give him the flowers and you'll go have dinner and it'll be fine..." he smiled. "Yeah... It'll be fine." 

He absentmindedly took the band out of the box, lifting it to see it better. "And then, you'll ask him to marry you. He'll smile and nod and you'll slip the ring onto his hand." he murmured, sliding the band onto his own finger. "And you'll both live happily ever-"

"Jongdae!" Minseok's voice called from a distance away, shocking Jongdae. He turned his head to see the elder waving frantically.

The younger cursed as he tried to tug the band off his finger, eyes widening with panic once he realized it wasn't coming off. Minseok was only getting closer. 

"No. Nonono." He muttered, twisting it and pulling as hard as he could. It didn't budge. 

It was only a matter of moments before Minseok reached the younger, a wide smile on his face as he presented him with a cup of coffee. "Tada~" he singsonged cutely. "An americano, just how you like it." 

Jongdae chuckled nervously as he took the cup in one hand, other hand presenting Minseok with the bouquet.

"I-I got you something on the way over." he said, the elder taking the flowers in his hands. Jongdae immediately shoved his hand into his pocket. 

Minseok gave the younger a quizzical look, but chose not to question his behaviour. 

They continued down the busy street, Minseok animatedly giving Jongdae a retell of his day as the younger tried to work the ring off his finger. 

They stop by the steamed bun store they used to frequent together as teenagers, resuming their place at the table by the window. They could already hear the ahjummas in the store rave over how much they've grown since their last visit, sometime between their high school graduation and university. Minseok responded enthusiastically to the kind women, Jongdae only smiling as he pulled harder on the ring. 

Their meal was reminiscent of the moments they shared back in high school, Minseok finding the burst of nostalgia comforting, Jongdae only forcing smiles as his face grew red from endlessly trying to tug the ring off of his finger. Minseok could see Jongdae fidgeting in his seat endlessly, the elder just opting to buy some buns to take home with them. The two continued on their way, Minseok holding onto Jongdae's arm as they walked through the busy street. 

 _"You're so stupid, why would you try a ring on that wasn't even meant for you-"_ Jongdae thought.

"It's been so long since we've been there... We should really go more often. The ladies there are still so nice..." Minseok mused. 

" _Who in their right mind tries on an engagement ring that isn't theirs-"_

"-don't you think?"

_"I should've known, Minseok's fingers are slimmer than mine..."_

"Jongdae?"

_"Way to think ahead, you idiot."_

"Is everything alright?"

"Huh?"

"Okay, you've been acting weird." Minseok said, pouting, stopping the two in their tracks. "What's wrong?" 

"Oh, haha nothing, absolutely nothing is wrong." he said awkwardly. 

"Jongdae..." 

Minseok always knew when something was wrong.

Jongdae could only sigh as he took a step back, the younger finding himself in the middle of the street. There was no getting out of this.

Might as well go out with a bang. 

"You wanna know what's wrong, Minseok?" he shouted, shocking the rest of the people around them. "I'll tell you what's wrong! What's wrong is that I'm a huge idiot!"

Minseok cocked his head in confusion.

"And, you know what? I've fallen head over heels for the most amazing person I've ever met." 

He could hear soft  _aw_ 's from the crowd. 

"I love him  _so_  goddamn much and I just wanna let the world know." he takes in a deep breath. "I AM IN LOVE WITH KIM MINSEOK!" he screams at the top of his lungs, Minseok hiding his face in his hands. By this point, Jongdae had already attracted the attention of dozens of passersby, many of them hanging around to see what would happen next.

"And Minseok- if you didn't think I could get any more stupid than I already am, guess again." he said, raising his hand. "You see this?" h asked, wiggling his ring finger. 

"This is a little something I got for you. How I got it stuck on my hand though, is a different story." he said with a soft chuckle. 

"June 10th. That was the day a boy asked me if he could come with me to a little forest near my home. June 10th. That was the day I fell in love with him. And now, 10 years later, I've only fallen harder. I don't want to spend another day of my life without him by my side. So, Kim Minseok," he announced to the blushing boy, getting down on one knee, inducing a collective gasp in the crowd. "Will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

Jongdae could see Minseok inch forward, the unshed tears becoming more visible with every step closer. He wiped his tears on his sleeve, nodding furiously as Jongdae stood, engulfing the elder in a hug. 

"You're so embarassing." Minseok laughed, Jongdae only holding on tighter. 

 

_Sarang._

They spend the next few months preparing for their wedding, although they had plenty of time, considering the agreed to have it held on their next anniversary day.

Jongdae didn't mind the wait.

It only gave him more time to ensure every last bit of the wedding was nothing short of perfection for Minseok. 

He had Minseok's favourite flowers ordered months ahead of time to ensure the ceremony could be covered in them, he visited multiple bakeries until he found the one who could make Minseok's favourite cake the best, he spent weeks writing and rewriting his vows, wanting to only give Minseok the best.

But all the planning in the world couldn't have prepared him for the night before the wedding. 

Time seemed to pass too quickly for Jongdae's liking, leaving the younger worried that he had missed something along the way. Minseok could only chuckle as he saw his frantic fiancee, checking the plans for the fifth time that night. 

"Calm down, Jongdae." he said softly, linking their hands. He lifted them to his face, pecking Jongdae's finger just above his wedding band. "Everything will be perfect. I know it will."

"But what if it doesn't and what if the whole night is a mess and-"

Minseok silenced the chattering boy with a soft peck on the lips. "Come on, it's getting late. We need to get up early tomorrow, don't you know?" 

Jongdae sighed, Minseok leading them to the bed, Jongdae allowing himself to melt into the comforter, Minseok's arms wound around his torso. 

He awoke the next morning to an empty bed, a soft alarm ringing that he doesn't remember setting disturbing him from his sleep. He stood groggily, letting his hand go limp as he turned the alarm off, hand grazing against a piece of paper. He furrowed his brows in confusion as he lifted the paper to his face. A faint smile graced his features, the boy recognizing the soft lettering of his partner's handwriting.

_Good morning, sleepyhead!_

_I've already gone out to get ready, it_ is _our big day after all!_  
You know it's bad luck to see each other before the ceremony, right?  
I can't believe this is all happening. I feel like this is all a dream.  
But I'm happy that it was you.   
I love you lots, and I'll see you later tonight, okay?

_\- Minseok_

_P.S. Try not to miss me too much >.<_

Jongdae's smile only grew bigger as he placed the sheet down.

That was right.

Today was the day. 

He could feel the soft beating of his heart quicken, a soft blush dusting his cheeks.

Today was the day. 

The preparations were a blur for the younger, Jongdae only vaguely recalling the excited shouts of his friends as they helped get him ready, the soft sounds of shutters going off in every moment of silence, the comforting feeling of the weight on his hand, the feeling of the band on his ring finger. 

Before he knew it, he was standing on the altar, with his hands bunched up in front of him. He could hear his heartbeat resonate in his ears, the sound easily overpowering the chatter of the guests in their seats. The venue was quite large, set on the roof of the banquet hall where they would later hold the reception, the area surprisingly beautiful. The skies were clear, the sun bearing down on the ceremony, the only protection there being the thin white cloth draped elegantly above the crowd's heads, soft streaks of light worming their way through the cloth. There were trees lining the tables, the tables, in turn, lining the single strip of cloth leading to the altar. The ground was littered with stray petals, each emitting a soft, sweet scent in their brightly coloured wake. Jongdae's eyes flitted from place to place, ensuring, for one last time, that everything was perfect. 

He was so preoccipied that he barely noticed the collective silence of the crowd, the soft music snapping him out of his reverie, his eyes drifting to the end of the aisle.

Minseok stood tall and proud, a smile on his face, his hair styled up and out of his face. His hands were clasped together in front of him as he took tentative steps to Jongdae, cheeks a soft pink.

Jongdae falls in love with Minseok again. 

It isn't long before Minseok if in front of him, the two interlacing their fingers. Jongdae found it hard to resist kissing Minseok right there and then.

Jongdae turned his head to the minister, the man smiling as he nodded his head for the boy to proceed. 

Jongdae took a deep breath. Minseok squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"I remember the day I fell in love with Minseok- I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember the first time we held hands in public, the first time we shared our secrets, the first time I felt my heart beat so fast. And you know what? Even after all these years, I  _still_  feel a flutter in my heart every time we hold hands, feel myself truly relax whenever we share secrets together, feel a blush rise to my cheeks every time you make my heart beat fast. I hope we can spend the rest of our lives together and become really old and wrinkly and still disgustingly in love." he said, inducing a soft chuckle from the crowd.

The minister only smiled wider as he turned to face Minseok.

"Wow, where do I start?" Minseok began, smiling at Jongdae. "You're a huge idiot, but you're  _my_  idiot and I love you more than anything in the world. Even more than steamed buns." he said, the crowd chuckling once more. "You make my hands clammy and my heart race and you make me happy. I want to grow old and wrinkly with you too, I want to explore with you, I want to love you, I want to spend my life with you. I want to thank you for everything. Thank you for loving me so much, for caring for me, for always supporting me. I love you." 

"Will you, Kim Minseok, take Jongdae to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Minseok smiled widely. "I do." he says, nodding excitedly.

"And will you, Kim Jongdae, take Minseok to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." 

And it is in that moment that Jongdae feels like nothing else matters.

They lean in for a kiss, and all Jongdae can think about is Minseok.

Minseok, standing there before him.

Minseok, his husband. 

He smiled, his hand never leaving Minseok's as the night progressed. 

As the reception began, the held each other close as soft music began, swaying with the song. Minseok's head was tucked comfortably in Jongdae's shoulder, Jongdae's head resting atop Minseok's. 

In that moment, all Jongdae wanted was to stay like this forever.

He could feel Minseok smile against the material of his suit, Minseok's hands moving to Jongdae's shoulder as he lifted his head, resting his breath ghosting over the shell of Jongdae's ear, sending shivers down the younger's spine.

"So..." he began, Jongdae's hands still resting comfortably on Minseok's hips. "How do you feel about kids?"

Jongdae only smiled widely, holding tighter to Minseok.

"I love them." 

 

_B'shert._

They enter an adoption centre a few weeks later. After a few visits prior to make sure everything was in order, the day was finally here. The woman greeted them kindly as she brought the couple to met a few of the young children there. The room was loud and bustling with excited children, a group of small children flocking to them almost immediately, wanting the attention of the men in the room. 

Minseok smiled brightly, crouching down to see the children eye level, to speak to them as excitedly as they were to him.

And that's when Jongdae sees her.

She had her eyes glued to the book in front of her, seeming so enraptured in the story that she hadn't even noticed the prescence of the men in the room. Even slouched on one of the bean bag chairs in the room, she looked relatively small, even smaller with the large frames perched on her nose. She looked up slowly, as if feeling Jongdae's eyes on her. Her eyes were alight with curiousity, giving Jongdae a soft, gummy smile. 

He absentmindedly tapped the worker in the room, asking about the girl.

"Oh, her? Poor thing, that girl. She's been here since she was born. Her mother felt awful for leaving her here, but she just couldn't support a child. She's a quiet one, too. Always has her nose in a book, she rarely speaks to any of the other kids here. Her name's Chorong."

"Chorong..." Jongdae echoed, barely noticing as Minseok's hand entertwined with his own. 

"That's a beautiful name." Minseok commented. "She sounds perfect." 

The woman smiled happily. "I'll get the papers ready." 

The couple are able to bring the girl home after a grueling adoption process, the small child kicking her legs out as her small hands were bunched up in her dress. The trip home was long and silent, the young girl's head hung as she stared intently at her shoes. 

It wasn't long before they brought her up the elevator of their apartment building, the girl's eyes shining with wonder as they opened the door to her, nudging her into the apartment.

Jongdae wonders if this is the first time she's seen a home outside of the adoption centre. 

Minseok chuckles softly, holding the small girl's hand as he led he further into the home, the girl following excitedly. 

"Welcome home."

 

_Pochemuchka._

Chorong, as the couple soon learns, is much more talkative than she lets on. 

She opens up to the two after a few days of confusion from the sudden change in environment. 

It doesn't take the two to learn that her curiosity knows no limits. The two can barely go a moment without having a new question thrown at them by the child.

_"What is that?"_

_"Why does it do that?"_

_"How does it work?"_

Minseok finds it endearing, but the two could only exchange weary glances when the inevitable question came.

"Where do babies come from?"

"Uh..." Jongdae cast a look back at Minseok, silently begging for help.

"Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much-"

"But you two are both boys."

Minseok chuckled awkwardly, Chorong only cocking her head in confusion. 

"Well- uh, look it's a toaster!" 

The girl surprisingly averted her attention quickly, saving the two from any more awkward troubles. 

 

_Atolondrar._

The two soon find their hands full between their relationship and caring from their young child. It was clear to Jongdae that they had underestimated the difficulty of raising a child.

Between endlessly cleaning surfaces that would find themselves dirty after a few moments, late nights spent spent without sleep, and the constant struggles of having to work at the coffee shop every day with a constant smile on his face, Jongdae could see the toll everything was taking on Minseok. 

It came down to the point where Minseok would forget where he was in bouts of haziness from lack of sleep, washing clean clothes, and hanging wet clothes in his closet. 

There even came a point that Minseok had prepared zucchini for himself, forgetting that he hated the food.

It was with these thoughts in his mind that Jongdae approached Minseok after the elder's late shift, rubbing the elder's tired shoulders as he promised to take the next day dedicated to caring for Chorong, letting the elder relax for once. 

"Are you sure? I mean, it's a lot to take on-"

"Which is why I don't want you to carry this on your own. Come on, Min. You haven't had any time to relax lately. Let me take care of everything."

"Jongdae..."

"Just trust me."

 

_Verschlimmbesserung._

It's not that Minseok didn't trust Jongdae, he really did. It's just that Jongdae had the mind of a six-year old sometimes. And that was okay. 

It was okay until Minseok came back from Jongdae's much insisted 'day of relaxation' to find the apartment in a mess. 

He treads in carefully, taking off his shoes and placing them meticulously amongst the chaotic mess of shoes in the front. Something gave Minseok the impression that the shoes wouldn't be the end of it. 

It's with every step that Minseok's concern grows, wrappers littering the floor, walls covered in neon colours.

Minseok finds Jongdae quickly, the younger curled up on the couch as Chorong's delighted screams sounded across the room.

"Minseok! Oh my god, Minseok, I am so sorry! I thought I could handle it but-" he started rapidly, shooting off of the couch the moment he saw Minseok.

"Jongdae, calm down." he said slowly, rubbing a hand on Jongdae's back. He could feel the younger's tensed muscles relax at the touch, the boy breathing in slowly. "What happened?"

"Chorong wanted candy and I wanted to say no, Minseok, I wanted to say no so badly but she looked up at me with those eyes so I gave her a piece and then another and then she went on a sugar high and started drawing everywhere and I couldn't stop her and- Minseok, what are we gonna do?"

The elder scanned the room, wincing at how disorderly it was, different from the pristinely clean state it was normally in.

"We can fix it." he stated simply. "Come on, let's grab a broom."

"What about Chorong?" 

"Sugar highs never last too long. She'll be out like a light before you even know it."

"And the walls?"

"I always thought they were a bit too boring."

 

_Ikigai._

It's not long after the incident that Jongdae takes it upon himself to learn how to do some of the household work, helping Minseok with cooking and cleaning so as to not tire out the elder.

They find a way to raise their daughter that fits them each well, and Jongdae finds that between the boy he's loved for almost a lifetime, and a child who's presence could light up his day, he's never been happier.

It's through his experiences through life that he decides that it's the little moments he treasures the most.

The lazy Sunday mornings that Chorong will bounce onto their bed to wake the two up, Jongdae smiling and wrapping his little girl in a hug as Minseok slowly awoke. 

When he'd blow raspberries onto her tummy, causing her to giggle as she squirmed in his hold, Minseok giggling at the sight. 

The moments when she'd hug the two of them and tell them how much she loved them, right before they'd kiss her on the cheeks and tell her the same. 

It's during these moments that Jongdae decides there's nothing more he could want in his life.

 

_Kalpa._

The next few years years pass before Jongdae's eyes. 

He's sending his little angel off to school after a year of meeting her, shedding a tear as she waved bye to him as he realized that she was growing up faster than he could even realize. 

She comes home crying after a few months of schooling into his arms, sobbing about how she was teased for having two dads. The couple stay with her for the night, consoling her through it, wiping her tears as they fell from her eyes. She goes to school the next day proud of her roots and where she came from. She goes to school loving her parents more than ever. Nothing could change that. 

The next few years saw the girl growing older than Jongdae wanted to accept, wanting to keep his little angel as little as he possibly could. The three experienced the typical door-slamming arguements as all families do, but they would always end with sheepish apologies and a reassuring 'I love you' shared between them. 

Minseok couldn't help but chuckle when he saw Jongdae shedding tears as Chorong graduated high school, holding her close and constantly telling her how truly proud she made him. When he smiled when he saw tears brim in her eyes when he pulled away, cupping her face with his hand, using his thumb to wipe her tears away. 

Before Jongdae's own eyes, Chorong grows into a beautiful young woman, finding someone for herself. He cries once more when he walks her down the aisle of her wedding, the girl looking up at him with teary eyes, hugging him once last time before stepping up to the altar. 

It's through each of these milestones that Minseok is right next to him, the hands of time never touching the beauty of his husband. Jongdae thinks he grows more beautiful with every passing day. 

It isn't long before the two have grown old and wrinkly like they promised, still finding themselves as madly in love as they were when they said their vows, when they began dating, when Jongdae had first brought the elder to his forest. 

 

_Viraag._

It's in Minseok's last moments that Jongdae holds on a little tighter. 

Minseok's hand is weak in Jongdae's hand, still squeezing onto the younger's hand gently. 

"Do you remember when we first fell in love?" Minseok asked weakly, eyes trained on Jongdae.

Jongdae smiled sadly. "Of course I do. I loved you from the moment I saw you."

Minseok sighed in satisfaction. "I loved you from the moment I heard you going off about your forest. I still remember the way your eyes shone when you talked about it. You loved it so much."

"I could never love it more than I love you." 

"I love you too... I love you Jongdae. I love you Chorong." he said, eyes now trained on his teary eyed daughter standing behind Jongdae.

"Dad... I love you too." she said, choking up, her partner rubbing comforting circles on her back as she cried into their shirt. 

"I want you guys... I want you to live happily without me, okay?"

"Minseok..."

"You two mean more to me than anything on this earth. All I could ever ask for is your happiness." his voice is getting softer. His grip is getting weaker.

"You  _are_  my happiness, Min."

"I'm sorry then, Jongdae." he said with a soft chuckle.

"I just love you all so much... I love you..." he said, words fading to a whisper as the monitor beside the bed flatlined, Chorong's cries only growing louder. 

Jongdae bit his lip, refusing to let his tears fall, knowing that the last thing that Minseok would want was for him to cry over the elder. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Minseok's cheek, whispering one final 'I love you' before turning to Chorong, the girl rushing into her father's embrace, holding the man tighter as she cried harder. 

But everyone was born to die, and Jongdae could only thank whatever was out there that he could've lived in the same space of time as Minseok had, could've loved him, could've been with him.

 

The two had loved each other for nearly an entire lifetime, and Jongdae wouldn't trade what they had for the world. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ALSO MAKE SURE TO READ [THIS SWEET BUB'S](http://archiveofourown.org/users/djjdkim/pseuds/djjdkim) FIC THAT WAS APPARENTLY INSPIRED BY THIS ONE  
> (but lowkey is much better dont tell her i told u that)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Like that summer, Goodbye.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564556) by [djjdkim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/djjdkim/pseuds/djjdkim)




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